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Type 2

Enneagram Type Two

Personality Profile - Personal Growth Recommendations


The Caring, Interpersonal Type:
Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
Basic Desire: To feel loved
Enneagram Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
Enneagram Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"


Type Twos are naturally generous and have an innate ability to tune into what another needs or wants. They may be wonderful hosts or perfect B & B innkeepers, having thought through so many details to make others' time enjoyable and comfortable. Or, they may be sensitive to social problems and find ways to attend to the personal needs of people who are suffering.

In all cases, Type Two people want to be loved themselves and believe the way to earn and deserve this love is to give of themselves. It is very hurtful to them when others, particularly their beloved, do not reciprocate. They feel misused, but have trouble admitting it because they want so much to be generous.

Twos are often attractive and pay attention to how to make themselves appealing to those they care about. Sometimes flirtatious, sometimes self-sacrificing, sometimes possessive, they engage the attention of that important person in their lives. Rather than being leaders, they would prefer to be the special confidante or invaluable helper to the leader, satisfied to be an intimate of powerful or important people.

When Twos were children they needed guidance and protection but experienced it only indirectly or haphazardly. It is surprising how many Twos lost their fathers at an early age to death, divorce, or a job requiring frequent travel or long days and nights away from home. Often blaming themselves for losing that key relationship due to their own failings, they unconsciously set out to become indispensable to whomever they believe could provide for their needs. Inside every Two is a child feeling envious that the other kids get what they want. They need to put self-pity aside, however, and instead learn to put themselves first, repsonding to their own needs and setting limits with others. Otherwise they are prone to eruptions of rage or, perhaps worse, to psychosomatic problems that can eventually disable them. Only when Twos are taking good care of themselves can their generous embracing love pour out into the world as a blessing to us all.

FAMOUS TWOS: Barbara Bush, Desmond Tutu, Monica Lewinsky, Mother Theresa, Sammy Davis, Jr., Florence Nightingale.


Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Twos

  • First and foremost, remember that if you are not addressing your own needs, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet anyone else's needs without problems, underlying resentments, and continual frustration. Further, you will be less able to respond to people in a balanced way if you have not gotten adequate rest, and taken care of yourself properly. It is not selfish to make sure that you are okay before attending to others' needs—it is simply common sense.

  • Try to become more conscious of your own motives when you decide to help someone. While doing good things for people is certainly an admirable trait, when you do so because you expect the other person to appreciate you or do something nice for you in return, you are setting yourself up for disappointments. Your type has a real danger of falling into unconscious codependent patterns with loved ones, and they almost never bring you what you really want.

  • While there are many things you might want to do for people, it is often better to ask them what they really need first. You are gifted at accurately intuiting others' feelings and needs, but that does not necessarily mean that they want those needs remedied by you in the way you have in mind. Communicate your intentions, and be willing to accept a "no thank you." Someone deciding that they do not want your particular offer of help does not mean that they dislike you or are rejecting you.

  • Resist the temptation to call attention to yourself and your good works. After you have done something for others, do not remind them about it. Let it be: either they will remember your kindness themselves and thank you in their own way or they will not. Your calling attention to what you have done for them only puts people on the spot and makes them feel uneasy. It will not satisfy anyone or improve your relationships.

  • Do not always be "doing" for people and above all do not try to get people to love you by giving them either gifts or undeserved praise. On the other hand, do not pointedly withdraw your service when others do not respond to you as you would like. Do not make what you do for others depend on how they respond to you. Help others when they ask for it, especially helping them to become more capable of functioning on their own.


Eating Disorders & Addictions